Drunk Confessions
by Vassindi
Summary: Lothar has lost everything, except Khadgar. One night he gets drunker than he had ever been and showed up at the mage's door. Think I FINALLY fixed the formatting errors. I don't know why it kept doing that!
1. Chapter 1

Lothar was drunk again. Khadgar was beginning to worry about his health. At first it was because of the loss of his son-he hadn't dealt with him then though. Garona had been there to comfort him at that time, but now she was gone. Medivh and Llane were both dead. So much he had been through; war was never kind to it's participants.

Lothar was drunk and he was in Khadgar's room. A sigh, "Maybe you should go lay down." Khadgar urged, concern for his friend.

The Lion's had slammed down on a book. "I don't need you telling me what to do, kid. You're just barely a pup, no bite and all bark."

Well that was just great, Lothar had come here to pick on him. That's not what he wanted, he wanted to get back to his studies. Get his friend safely back to his room before he hurt anyone or himself. "Come on, let's get you back to your room..."

"No," was the firm reply. Khadgar was a little taken back by the forcefulness of his voice. "I'm tired of being alone…" the alcohol was taking away his resolve. "Let me stay here a bit, then I'll go to my room, after I've 'calmed down'." Lothar's grin was back as he plopped himself in the chair Khadgar had occupied before he had barged into the mage's chamber.

The mage grabbed the book Lothar had abused and took it to the bed and settled himself into it, sitting cross-legged propping the book open in his legs. "That's find I guess. Just try not to break anything."

Moments passed, then minutes. Lothar was messing with things on the desk, his alcohol hazed brain not allowing him to focus on the things in front of him; they were not that interesting. He turned to Khadgar-now that was interesting. The young mage was deep in thought as eyes scanned over the old tome. He got up and staggered to the mage. Khadgar was so engrossed in his studies he didn't even notice Lothar getting up, in fact he didn't even remember that the warrior was there. That was until rough hands grabbed his hair and pulled him into a forced kiss.

The mage stared at warrior in shock, usually in this kind of moment he would cast a spell to ward off the surprise but his mouth was currently occupied so he did the next thing he could come up with: kick out full force hitting Lothar square in his stomach.

"Light! I'm so sorry Lothar I forgot you were here and thought I was being attacked!" Khadgar scrambled out of the bed and moved closer to the other.

Lothar was bent over, he had nearly lost his dinner over that blow. However it wasn't going to stop him. When the mage was close enough he grabbed the other by the arm and pulled him right back into a kiss, giving hard nips at those lush lips.

"Lothar… please… you're drunk…. Please! ….stop!" Khadgar was gasping between nips and kisses, it wasn't that he didn't want for this to happen. He wanted Lothar to be sober for it. He wanted to know this wasn't because Lothar was drunk and needed a release.

A hand slid down Khadgar's back to cup his rounded bottom and squeezed. The mage jerked forward pressing into Lothar's hard body. A sloppy smile broke across the warrior's face, his eyes darkened by lust. "Your body betrays you, spell chucker." He laughed pulling Khadgar closer.

Tears were welling up in Khadgar's eyes. He was enjoying the attention, he had never been touched like this by someone else or even kissed until tonight. It just didn't feel right at all. "Anduin… please." Khadgar pushed against Lothar's muscular chest. "It's my first time, I'm not ready!" And with those words, Lothar released the mage. The kid tumbled backwards but was able to catch himself, his cheeks pink.

"L-let me help you back to your room, please." Lothar nodded, his alcohol addled brain unable to process the information he had received. Maybe he did need to go back to his room before he did something he regretted. Being almost same height Khadgar couldn't really carry or assist Lothar with walking, so instead he decided to awkwardly follow the other to his sleeping quarters. The mage just wanted to go back to being alone. He had seen Lothar drunk, nearly belligerent even, never like this. He was almost clingy.

All too soon they reached Lothar's sleeping quarters, the mage helped his warrior into his bed and turned to leave. Lothar grabbed Khadgar's arm. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I never wanted to…" Khadgar felt himself pulled down, he closed his eyes for the kiss that was sure to come. Only it didn't. Lothar was passed out cold. He stared for a moment before leaving quietly.

If only Lothar would have been sober. The pinkness returned to the mage's cheeks as he quickly made his way back the his quarters thinking of what might have been. What may will still be if their feelings were to become a reality.

The next day Khadgar had a hard time looking at Lothar. Lothar had had enough and he finally got the mage alone. "What's wrong my friend?"

The realization hit Khadgar… Lothar didn't remember last night.


	2. Chapter 2

A few days had past and he didn't _mean_ to be, but he was avoiding Lothar. He was blushing every time he saw the warrior and got tired of the pressing questions. He looked up when he heard the handle jiggle on his door. The only person who would never knock would be Lothar. Khadgar sighed and answered the door. He was met face to face with a very upset Lothar, he could tell the other man had been crying. His eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, his cheeks were flushed and when he spoke his words were hoarse.

"You've been avoiding me." He stated matter-of-factly, breath reeking of alcohol.

Khadgar looked away. "Of course I have. I've felt _confused_. Do you need help to your room?"

The mage still didn't want to see him and it hurt. "I want to be here with you, just for a little bit. I'm lonely." Lothar admitted not caring how _clingy_ he sounded. It had been days since he had seen Khadgar, he was missing him much more than he wanted to admit.

Khadgar was used to being alone. He may have been surrounded by many people in Dalaran but that didn't mean he had companionship. He didn't find that until Lothar came into his life. Lothar, on the other hand, had plenty of companionships, he had had best friends, a wife, and a son. He still had his sister, niece, and nephew. He still had some family. It was more than Khadgar had.

"Fine. I'll get you something to eat and drink." He walked over to the table in and conjured up a snack for Lothar, while Lothar settled himself on the mage's bed. Khadgar eyed the other has he brought the tray. "Here, this will help clear the alcohol haze."

Lothar patted the space beside him in the bed. Reluctantly Khadgar joined him. He was still very wary of Lothar being drunk, between what happened last time and the fact that Lothar, as their first meeting depicted, could very easily overpower him.

"What's bothering you Lothar?" Khadgar may have been avoiding him but he still cared for Lothar no matter the confusion he had. He was still unsure of his own feelings but he knew they had developed deeper in his heart since Lothar had kissed him. He looked at Lothar who was nibbling on the sweet bread he conjured up.

"It's nothing."

"Yes, it is."

" _No_ , it's not."

"Yes-". Khadgar was not about to play this game with Lothar. "You've been crying, it's plain on your face. There is no denying it. Tell me what's wrong."

Lothar took a drink before moving the tray to the bedside table. "You've been avoiding me." The warrior stated again. "It's been days since you talked to me, you're always running away. I thought I was losing you too." Tears were brimming Lothar's eyes as he spoke. "It wasn't hurtful at first but after a day or so it started to _hurt_ , not just in my heart but _physically_. I felt the same crushing sadness I felt after losing everyone else."

Khadgar reached over and put his hand on Lothar's shoulder. He couldn't even _imagine_ the hurt and suffering the other was feeling. Khadgar had mourned the loss with him, but Lothar's relationship with Llane and Medivh was so strong they had been more like brothers rather than life-long friends. He had also lost someone he had sought comfort with before, Garona, Khadgar had also been hurt by her surprising betrayal. It all had crashed on Lothar in less than a year. "I'm still here." He squeaked out a surprise when Lothar pressed his face into Khadgar's chest. "What-"

"Just hold me alright?" Khadgar did just that. He listened for a long time about how Lothar's wife had died giving birth to Callan. About how he blamed Callan for his wife's death and how guilty it made him feel since his son was gone now too. How Callan never had the chance to truly live and how he felt it was his fault that Callan died and he should have made his son stay and protect Stormwind, then maybe he would still be alive. How he couldn't save his own friends. He had let Medivh and Llane die. He had failed his sister and her kids by not being there to protect their husband and father.

Khadgar rubbed Lothar's back, the warrior took a shuttering breath. The mage knew he was hiding tears but he wouldn't tease him over that. Lothar shifted, his face was now nuzzling Khadgar's neck. "And then there is you. I was so afraid I had lost you to the Fel after the fight with Medivh. I couldn't have handled your loss as well."

"There was nothing the Fel showed me that meant more to me than you did. It would haven't been the same. You were the first person who treated me like I wasn't just a pawn. That I mattered." It was Khadgar's turn to cry, the tears fell silently. "You gave me the strength to pull through, you were my light shining through the darkness."

Lothar pulled away from Khadgar's neck and they stared at each other for a moment. Their faces drew closer, lost in one another's eyes. It was Lothar that closed the gap between them with a gentle kiss. Khadgar melted and he kissed the warrior back. Much to the mage's disappointment, the kiss ended too soon. His heart was racing, the kiss had ignited a fire in him. "Anduin?" Lothar had slid back down to the mage's chest and nuzzled into it.

"I love you, Khadgar," muttered Lothar. The exhaustion from his emotions being laid out on the table combined with the alcohol still in his system finally consumed him and he passed out in Khadgar's arms.

Khadgar was speechless. He tried to pull himself away from Lothar, but he couldn't. He sighed and settled them as comfortably as he could. For the first time in his life, Khadgar didn't sleep alone.

Chapter Notes

Honestly, I didn't plan to write a second chapter but I needed a break from my other fic, I got stuck on it and this had been in my mind all day.

I was inspired by 2 songs for this chapter.

Rixton - Me and My Broken Heart  
Disturbed - The Light

Also took some inspiration from icy-touch's tumblr post about Lothar needing hugs and cuddling!

This isn't beta'd yet I wanted to get it out of my system so if you notice any glaring mistakes please let me know!


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